The Voice of Nature

By Dominic Nkoyoyo*
The magnificent and brilliant colours of the breath-taking splendour of dawn, the gorgeous and ineffable beauty of twilight, the twinkling stars in the deep blue of the night sky, the silent music of the flowing waters, the vastness of the seas and the immensity of space all speak to us in a voice known to the heart alone! Nature is speaking and its voice is medicine for the soul!
Unfortunately, it is as if we have totally closed and stuffed our ears with cotton! In today’s world, we no longer listen to the messages of wisdom of the soothing voice of nature! Even our own make up, our human nature, is speaking and sometimes very loudly, but we are not paying any attention!
From around the age of 18 to 28, nature adorns a woman with exceptional beauty and allure. This has been so down the centuries and it is very unlikely that it is going to change tomorrow! In the programme of nature, this is the best time for a woman to get a life companion, a husband. And the best time for child bearing and rearing. In general beyond this time child bearing gets more difficult and complicated and chances of begetting an abnormal child are high. Nature is speaking! Are we listening?
Apparently most of us are not listening! In today’s world, many women want to prolong their youth into their late thirties and early forties on the ground that they want to perfect their careers, move around the world and enjoy life before they get old. Unfortunately the privileges nature gives and bestows upon a woman in her twenties do not move along with them in their late thirties! So by the time they think of begetting children, it is rather too late!
To marry and to get married and bring up children is one of the basic desires nature has engraved upon the fibres of our being! But in today’s world we seem to be paying very little attention to this! Apparently many people do not think that marriage and having a family and children is important in their lives. But many regret as they get older!
We need to know that the things which our very nature dictates are basic! And we ignore them at our own risk! Love of money, academic achievements and an endless search for self amusement have made many forget the basic needs of human life. The article «Are Kenyan Women Wearing Trousers?» which appeared in the Kenyan news paper Daily Nation of February 25, 2011, is a reminder that we should go back to the basics. It discusses today’s Kenyan woman also called «This New Woman!» And in my opinion, what is said of this new Kenyan woman is true of most career and single women all over the world.
This new woman, is described as the career woman, well educated, economically independent and generally un married! At one point the moderator of the discussion poses a very important and fundamental question : «Is this new woman happy?» The panel of experts discussing this new woman includes men and women. The answer Ann Gitao gives to this question is deep and astounding. She hits the nail on the head!
She thus says, «…Your genetic make up, your natural instinct is to be a mother, to be a wife, to be all those things and you can never scrap that. So I think you are happy as a lady if you have that and you are feeling fulfilled. Hopefully, you end up with a good marriage and a good family and on top of that you are living comfortably and living your other dream, your career growth…So I would describe a happy woman as one who has fulfilled her natural instincts and continues to meet them and one who also meets her worldly needs and desires.»
Nature has also engraved upon the heart of a man, the desire to take care of his wife, to provide for her and to protect her. But today many people call this outdated! That it was true only of the primitive and stone age man, the hunter! For they claim that since today’s new woman is economically independent and sometimes earns much more than her husband, she can take care of herself, provide for herself and protect herself! But this wrong thinking has had devastating consequences on the psychological identity of men. Many men no longer know clearly who they are in relation to women! Some even shy away from women because their inner self, their identity and confidence as men has been eroded and destroyed.
Naturally any man whether of yesterday, today or tomorrow will always find joy and fulfillment in providing for his wife and protecting her. I have no problem with a woman being economically independent and I encourage it. But her economic independence does not change the natural instincts of a man! So her economic independence should be harmonized with the natural instincts of her man. Dr. Njoki Fernandez one of the experts and panellists discussing «The New Kenyan Woman» understood this very well.
In the discussion she shares her own experience thus: «I got married when I was very young, at 21, and in medical school. So for a long time, my husband was provider, care giver and whatever and it was a role he enjoyed and did very well. But fortunately or unfortunately, you complete medical school, get employed and soon money starts to come in and this girl starts showing signs of independence. The man freaked out. Soon there were all these fights about ‘now you think you have money you can do your own thing.’ I think I also took it a bit too far, telling him, ‘don’t fuel my car, I can do it myself.’ When I realised what was happening to us, I withdrew a bit and I allowed him to be the ‘one.’ Now there is peace because I had taken over his role.»
Another dictate and command of nature which we should listen to, is that man and woman are relational and social beings. And therefore should not live in isolation. In other words man and woman are communal beings who should live in some form of community like a family or a religious community.
Unfortunately, Western individualism and urban setting have deprived many people of their relational and communal dimension of life. Although it is normally said that no man is island, many people in the Western world and in most of the big cities all over the world have been reduced to «islands!» They find themselves all alone in their apartments, with no one to talk to, no one to share with. And they suffer grave and serious effects from this isolation! These people have money and all the material things they need but no friends!
Again when we listen attentively, we hear the voice of nature telling us that our sexuality is a treasure beyond price. For it forms part of the core of our innermost being and identity! What touches our sexuality touches the roots of our being, our identity and dignity as human persons. This is why when we engage in inappropriate sexual relationships (which instinctively we know) they fill us with shame, humiliation and guilt instead of joy.
Our sexuality is meant to help us establish and form healthy and warm relationships, to strengthen and cement them! And our creative powers, be it in terms of procreation, imaginative thinking and creative writing, to my knowledge they are all linked to our sexuality!
But what we see today is the trivialisation of this treasure of our sexuality! It is handled and treated no better than rubbish in the dustbin! Everyday we are bombarded with pornographic material from every side! Sex for many, is no longer a relational and personal act through which people express their love and commitment to one another.
We can rightly say that sex has been reduced to an empty and impersonal theatrical act! It is staged in the studio or open air before the cameraman, for the pornographic industry! In other words, sex in our digital world is no longer a bedroom affair but a stage affair for all, including our children, to see!
We shall live to regret our refusal to listen to the voice of nature and the damage we do to these children and to our society as a whole.
*Dominic Vincent Nkoyoyo, Monastery Val Notre-Dame, Canada.